don't say they didn't warn you

University Omnibus Part II: So apparently, really big institutions always have to deal with a certain level of financial fraud.
It doesn't excuse this, however:

The red bit says: Your call can make a difference... As staff of The University of Auckland we are committed to protecting the reputation of our University. If you suspect a staff member is defrauding the University, or is engaging in unethical behaviour, please make a good call. Contact KPMG Fair Call [....] Our independent experts will provide you with support."

Hi there KPMG independent experts? I made a successful pass at my lecturer but she didn't pass me!
Hello KPMG, the philosophy dept here. Whose ethics manifesto are you following - Hobbes? Peter Singer?
Hello KPMG, Peter Singer here. Someone ate a meat pie.
Hi KPags. My tutor photocopied his butt using the department printing account.
Hello KPMG, somebody stole Barbara Kruger's colour scheme to make your posters which stand for everything she's against.

In what seems an effort to stir up the widest possible anti-collegial feeling, there has been a blanket campaign including letters sent out to staff (presumably all staff as lowly non-finance-entrusted tutors were included) along with these Pyramids of Prohibition, these Triangles of Trouble, these Points of Contention:
One side says "turn off your computer", the second says "don't smoke", and the third says "if you don't comply you'll get dobbed in".

Hello KPMG? when did the "critic and conscience of society" join you guys on the other side?

beauty and the brute

The science building is arguably the University of Auckland Building Most Likely to Harbour a Communist Bloc Dictator, uglier even than the engineering one.
And you see some weird things sticking out of it sometimes - tubes at awkward angles, first year chemistry students etc - for important experiments that Arts students like myself couldn't begin to understand.
But wait - what's this?

That's not an alum crystal, it's a baroque, fripperied, fol-de-rolled and curlicued chandelier! It's ruining the brutalist lines and transforming the building from an imposing behemoth in its own right to merely a contrasting backdrop for prettiness. Huzzah!

Twenty metres further down the road, outside the Information Commons, students go about their business in ignorance of such annexation and colonisation of the Science podium by frothy aesthetics:

But wait - again, what's that?! A battle seems about to begin:

More chemistry fume induced hallucinations? Maybe one of the armies wants to cover the stone wall with some lacy fretwork to go with the chandelier. One can only hope!

the creed of woolly thinking

I really hope Senior College students have to recite this every morning, like a pledge of allegiance:


It is as if the PR guys were reading Ayn Rand while listening to Whitney sing "I believe the children are the future" and thinking about how much more awesome NZ is than any other country, while knowing they had to write in a subtle "we know your child is a genius" vibe to lure in the Parents.
But - ay? If greatness can't be taught, why would the path start at an educational institution? Why is "NZGREATNESS" all one word, but with NESS hanging up in the air like it was left over from a "Beware of the LOCH NESS MONSTER" sign? Why prefix the silliness with "believe" phrases as if this is some religious cult, and they're not entirely 100% certain? How are they redefining success?
This last question is answered around the corner:
Since when did such generic means become the goal? FYI, "highest possible qualification" is not a reference to a doctorate but to the controversial Cambridge examinations.
Sarah, the easiest way to compete internationally is to participate in a minority sport which not many nations bother with.
However this is the preferred "NZ" way to achieve greatness so it's not much of a redefinition of success after all.