abuse of seuss

Argh! The bank robots have kidnapped the good doctor and are using his recipes for our favourite childhood candy to lure us into their clutches:

They cannot completely hide their nefarious doings. The backdrop looks like the distopia left behind by rampant capitalist Lorax - who also controls the bank robots!
Dr Seuss once wrote a verse that went: “Mrs Van Bleck of the Newport Van Blecks/is so goddam rich she has gold-plated sex”.
I dare you to go and ask for one loan "for GPS please".
Well, they are wanting to take you places.

morning glory

I once got kicked out of a flat for being too happy in the mornings. How insufferable I was in my salad days!
Now, of course, part of the problem of forgetting (gasp!) to put up this post last night is that it's morning-cotton-wool-head gal writing to you, not night-owl gal.
Coincidentally, this ad is all about mornings:

As with employment law, the devil writes the fine print:

Insufferable milk!? That clash and the doors slamming was Anchor getting kicked out of our flat.

ambiguity

Let's talk about the thing that everybody thinks about but nobody talks about, society's dirty little secret, yes of course what I'm talking about (as if I need to spell it out) is: apathy.
I always thought apathy was bad, and action good. But then I went to a seminar where a student showed us pictures of bored, unsmiling models which mesmerised us into thinking that while high fashion capitalism was glamourising apathy, if we took the message to heart and started being as apathetic as possible, we would stop buying stuff and capitalism would collapse.

So is the answer anti-apathy or action-antipathy? Is it ambivalence? To paraphrase The Simpsons: Are we being ironic? I don't know anymore...

It isn't doing a very good job then.
After walking past the second sign at the top of Albert Park, I got hungry and walked down to the Korean place on Lorne St for a sweet $2 pancake. (Is the road to hell paved with apathy or good intentions?)
And what should I see but this:

The small writing says: "The simplest solution to everything is apathy".
It's true. But ousting Paul Henry and installing Len Brown is far more satisfying.

common as bliss

Art on the street? Whoever heard of such a thing?


While the afterlife isn't a theme which inspires me personally (everyone knows it's candyfloss clouds), the idea of an artist exhibiting street posters is so revolutionary - even though it should be common-as-muck - that I am overwhelmed with gratitude.
ka\jf ljrg/lz.zmvl/x.dmv
that was me swooning all over the keyboard.

officer zombie

So here's a bit of a self-challenge for moi... why did I find that military ad more offensive than I find this?:

Ok, so police don't kill people (unless said people are speeding and nobody does that do they) but the premise is the same: We've got this really important job where we need responsible, mature cool heads. Hey, kids, come do it - not because it's important but because it's exciting!
So yeah, that's problematic.
On a side note... hey new cop! Your first job is to find out who made this awful mess...


I don't think your brick zombie mate saw who did it...

in a barbie world

Hoo, banks ads are the gifts that just keep giving. Until I started this blog, I didn't realise just how generous they were. Exhibit # 857:


I once thought about doing an excel spreadsheet course, so let's see if I can figure out the bank's equations:
where "grown up" = responsible: grown up (female child) = bad (reality) and grown up (male child) = good (fantasy).
So in the parents' ideal fantasy, their daughters would be infantile dependents!
Wait -have I got the wrong *financial product*?
Hmm, where "grown up" = having sexy times, grown up (female child) = bad (reality) and grown up (male child) = good (fantasy).
So in the parents' ideal fantasy, their sons would be having sex!
Urgh. ANZ!! How could you! Keep your filthy Oedipal minds to yourselves!
Yeah, stop reminding me, stalkers.

desperado

He's made a career out of being provocative (NSFW), but is this really the attention and the clientele he wants?

Calvin Klein. Garments of choice for the pack rapist about town.