in a barbie world

Hoo, banks ads are the gifts that just keep giving. Until I started this blog, I didn't realise just how generous they were. Exhibit # 857:


I once thought about doing an excel spreadsheet course, so let's see if I can figure out the bank's equations:
where "grown up" = responsible: grown up (female child) = bad (reality) and grown up (male child) = good (fantasy).
So in the parents' ideal fantasy, their daughters would be infantile dependents!
Wait -have I got the wrong *financial product*?
Hmm, where "grown up" = having sexy times, grown up (female child) = bad (reality) and grown up (male child) = good (fantasy).
So in the parents' ideal fantasy, their sons would be having sex!
Urgh. ANZ!! How could you! Keep your filthy Oedipal minds to yourselves!
Yeah, stop reminding me, stalkers.

Reservoir Banks

So. Banks. No, not that one, these ones:



And because recyling is a good thing to do, you'll remember this one from waay back in the early days of this blog:


And then there's BNZ and Westpac.
Now. Scroll back up again and carefully examine all items. Can you spot the difference?
No, neither can I. Obviously one can create a bank ad in three easy steps: 1. Words, 2. blank background, 3. logo/picture bottom right hand corner. Voila!
I can think of three explanations:
1. They are actually all operated by the same shady outfit, and are known to each other by their colours - Mr Seabreeze Cyan, Mr Eco Green, Mr Burnt Custard Yellow. Just like in Reservoir Dogs.
2. Some wise guy who has a beer fridge at work and goes to Showgirls at lunchtime (ie, works in the ad industry) has sold them all the same do-it-yourself Adshop2000 software kit for $$$$.
3. A different ad agency has laboured over every inch of each handcrafted ad to show the individuality and true personality of each bank: "The text will be left-justified to impress upon the reader that this has been typed by a real person, someone just like them..." "The font will be slimline, sans-serif ("calibri") in white, to impart to the viewer that we are not a bank to bowl them over with heavy-handedness..."

I despair of the dearth of creativity in a society in which (3) is most likely.

So. These things above belong together, these things are kind of the same. But one of these things just doesn't belong here:

Actually, it looks too similar, don't you think? You could easily pass this and not read it because it looks like it's for, not against, the ANZ.
Also, I'm sure finsec actually means that even in an imperfect world, banks would pay their staff properly.
Still, pleasing to see a poster campaign from a union against a particular issue! I don't remember seeing that before.
Still, a pity that it's necessary.
Still! and extremely happily, finsec announced today (15 Sept - the dates on my blog are some overseas time) that their campaign "for a different and better offer from ANZ National" has worked! Congratulations!
PS, don't forget that all the banks here save Kiwibank have been investigated for tax non-payment.
PS2, OMG do not type in 'Banks' into google images unless you want pix of Miss Tyra!

do as we say we do

Man, ASB gotta change their ad people. First, there was that whole "we're a Kiwi bank" debacle, then they kept flogging that dead bird (I dobbed them in to the highest authority in the land - Sideswipe), and now this:

ok, so it's not so much offensive as overbearing, commanding, condescending, patronising, knowitall and smug. "Doctor" with a capital "D"? Because doctors are such important authoritative oracles, just like ASB? Also, shoes can talk, not that well-paid bankers would know about that.
Continuing the medical theme, here's an eye test:

Madly assuming some of you are sober, and are therefore seeing double, here's the translation: "Get behind St John. We are."
More commandments! I have never felt less like helping the children. Or the ambulances. Every time ASB tells me to do something I want to stamp my foot and yell "NO!"
Also, how many organisations are crass enough to use a whole ad just to tell you what they sponsor?
Kashin! You have betrayed me!